Somewhere there’s a great game inside this mini-demo for Sega Rally Revo and Sega Rally 3, meaning that you might as well buy Revo instead these days. Oh sure, Online Arcade has its fun, its spacious, colorful tracks, and even the kitsch value that only Sega can deliver.
What’s left though is frail bones upon which the rest of the game should sit. Complain that it’s only $10, and you’d probably be right, at least a few years ago. With a meager five tracks and stretched thin single player, one would think Online Arcade came out alongside the likes of Wik or Cloning Clyde. Instead, it’s a kinda/sorta sequel or follow-up or brother or something.
There’s not much wrong, per se, with the game itself. It’s toned down, exquisite, dirty fun with ludicrous AI that just does what it wants because it can. It says something when you finally conquer the first four races of the lonely championship mode only to face an opponent that pulls a 0-60 in 2.3 while your pitiful machine is still looking for traction.
Well, maybe “traction” isn’t the word. Online Arcade, or any Sega Rally for that matter, never really subscribed to it. Floaty, gliding corners are its hallmark, much like the announcer who disturbingly thinks you’re his baby, or maybe he just has a thing for corners. Either way, he’s been at it way too long.
Time trials and single races, along with a small fleet of unlockable cars, make it seem like there’s something around here to do, when of course, there’s not. Diving into a realm of online racers may push away from the AI’s implausible maneuvers, only into the mix waiting to get sloshed by a kid half your age -or more- who seems to have coded himself an AI racer.
That’s really not fair though, lashing out at the online for a skill base that is certainly dominate, even if the courses are friendly to crushing everyone together. It’s just that it takes some work to get into the mix, a player inexplicably dropping into the end of a race or forever waiting for the full pack of racers to come. When it works it’s fantastic, the sense of speed and the lightened need to avoid ruts caused by opposing tires making this a pleasingly different Sega Rally even if it seems more the same.
Online Arcade’s fault is finding its place, or just a reason to be. Fleshed out career modes, fairer difficulty, and even online ruled Revo, so it’s a wonder why Sega bothered at all. At some point, maybe it will click, that arcade racing timer ticking down at the top, the brief courses inciting thrills, and spacious use of 5.1 audio make this one, well, an arcade game.
It doesn’t do much, but find a Sega car-based racing title that does. Crazy Taxi succeeded, and it only had the one city and three songs. These friendly, sometimes inviting, sometimes infuriating brief flirtations are something the publisher/developer has done since their inception. In a weird way, it’s almost welcoming dropping $10 on something so precise as opposed to that richer, deeper experience.
You’ll have to come to an understanding with Online Arcade and its limited number of sharp, left turns baby. Sharp, left turns baby indeed. That’s where that great game is hiding.
It’s “Maybe”, not “Baby”.